Show-off, feelings? No it’s Science...

‘Why are you smiling?’ said Ram.

‘Nothing, I wonder how people use feelings and emotions in mail’, I said. ‘So, what’s there to wonder in that?’ said Ram. ‘No, sometimes it’s too much...I mean what’s great in writing a wiki article, I think it deserves only good tag but Ben replying with great job,’ I explained. ‘Oh strange... someone is appreciating your work and you are complaining and smiling on that, really you are a saint,’ Ram said. ‘No... I am not complaining, but...I mean...maybe it’s my first wiki article, so the reaction is more than what I deserve, ‘I put my point. ‘OK...come let’s have a coffee break,’ Ram said.

‘Ok...you said you have a blog and you write when you find time,’ Ram said. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘So what do you write, do you use emotions in your writing?’ Ram said. ‘Yes, I use emotions pretty much,’ I replied back. ‘Ok...Do you say, ’I love you mom’ when you call your mom?’ Ram said. ‘No, why do I need to say, it’s again show-off for me...I mean why do I need to say ‘I love you’ to my mom in every call...yes I say ‘Pranam’ in every call,’ I said. ‘OK...so you say ‘Pranam’ as this is in our culture...every time you say it ,‘ Ram said. ‘Yes...twice in a call, I start call with ‘Pranam’ only and end with this as well,’ I said. ‘OK...good you show respect but you don’t show your love to mom...don’t you think someone can take it as a show-off, ‘Ram said with a smile. ‘Why do you need to show your respect in every phone call...does it matter if you say ‘Pranam’ only once or not at all...Do you think your mother will stop loving you if you won’t say Pranam?’ Ram continued.  

I took a coffee sip and smiled, as I did not have any answers for these questions. 

‘Do you drink pepsi?’ Ram said.

‘What...why pepsi here,’ I said.

‘I am coming to the point,’ Ram said.

‘Not very often...I prefer to have fruit juice, you know how much health conscious I am,’ I replied with smile. ‘OK...that’s fine...but what do you think, why there are so many advertisements in TV, sign boards all for these drinks?’ Ram said. ‘It’s marketing, they want to sell products so they have to do all this,’ I replied. ‘Yes...you are right, it’s marketing...do you know the science behind marketing?’ Ram said. ‘Science...no,’ I said. ‘Ok...just to add little much It’s because a human mind can’t remember things after certain time, I don’t know exact figure...so they have to show pepsi on tv, on sign boards every time, just to register that pepsi word in our mind,’ Ram said.

‘I am telling this pepsi story, just to give a practical answer...saying ‘I love you’ on every call is not show off, it’s just we want to make sure to register ourselves in other person’s mind that I really care for you and I love you,’ Ram said.

 I was just listening the theory.

 ‘Try this... call your mom and don’t say ‘Pranam’ for some time, it’s possible that your mom will say someday, may be just to tease you, that you are not saying Pranam,’ Ram continued. ‘You know you respect your mother but you have to remind every time, our mind is so complex, it tends to forget very soon’, Ram smiled finally after watching my expressions.

‘I will take one more coffee, I love these kinds of discussions,’ I smiled again.

‘I hope now you are clear and next time you will say ‘I love you’ to your mom,’ Ram said.

‘Yes, feelings are meant to express, I am trying to see the world with my own window... it’s not show-off, it’s just the ways of expressing feelings...In west people are very straight to show their feelings and emotions and I feel,  I am very shy in doing that and I use them in my blogs’, I said.

‘Yes, it’s not only you...I think it’s common here. When we don’t do something which someone is doing quite frequently, we say its show-off’, Ram said. ‘Yes, I need to change my perception on this emotions thing...really it’s Science...but I am bit worried, how my mom will react on ‘I love you’...hahaha,’ I smiled.  

'Your mom will say...wow that’s great...hahahahaha,’ Ram said.

hahahaha...that's actually great and I am no more a saint...hahahaha...

पहाड़ों की सुबह...

एक अरसे बाद आज सुबह को नींद से जागते हुए देखा...

आज मेरी आँखों में नींद कहाँ थी

और इसी बहाने सुबह को एक नए रूप में देख लिया

अभी रात की खुमारी पूरी उतरी भी ना थी

और वो कुछ बिखरे से बाल अभी भी अँधेरा किये थे

धीरे-धीरे ओंस की बूंदों से सुबह ने जो मुंह धोया

तो मेरे शब्दों की पोटली में रखे चंद हुस्न के मोती भी कुछ ना कह पाए

अभी तो ये आरम्भ था सुबह के श्रृंगार का

वो सूरज की बिंदिया जो सुबह ने माथे पे लगायी

तो हवा ने भी बिन कहे इत्र सी खुशबू बिखेर दी

इस अनोखे रूप की कहानी कुछ पंछी भी गा रहे थे

और कुछ देर में सूरज ने भी खुश होके अपनी रोशनी के मोती बिखेर दिए

वो फूलों का खिलना ही बाकी था श्रृंगार के लिए अब

सच में ये सुबह भी शरमाती है शायद बड़े शहरों से

तभी यूँ बन संवर के कभी शहरों में नहीं आती

या फिर इसे भी फुरसत नहीं इन भागते हुए शहरों में

जो कुछ देर आराम से यूँ ही सज-संवर ले...

On the way to paradise...

Angels in the valley don’t matter me, I see 1 everyday.
I just want to get lost with her in those valleys where all seasons melt and freeze, to write a fairy tale... 






I can see one trail to paradise staring from that bay,
you just hold my hand and let’s start the way. 

Sun is still behind that hill,
there is nothing much to pack but just our will.
those water droplets on the grass,
seems like stars have broken clouds into glass.
these birds are singing for you only,
don’t make a rush just hike slowly.
Moon is still there in blue-black sky,
just got behind the clouds and feeling little shy.
.............................................

I had a chat with a village boy,
he pointed me the track of ultimate joy.
.............................................

cone shaped trees and clear sky,
I've never seen before these colorful butterflies.
Sun is playing hide and seek,
this will continue till that peak.
.............................................. 

sweet waterfalls and cold breeze,
every single moment I want to freeze. 

the only season this valley knows,
which don’t have a name but peace of-course. 

let’s lost in this valley and forget all the ways,
don’t say a single word, just smile as you do always... 

P.S. I Love You...

the phone girl...

My new office has open work-space culture, we don't have dedicated cubes. I don't know much about this culture, but one of my colleagues said it's European culture open work-space. First few days were kind of cultural shock for me, while watching on my screen without any head movement I was able to see girls using lipsticks and other stuffs. I was shocked when I realized machines also do makeup things so frequently. ‘Machine’ yes most of the people behave like machine. We have been programmed to do our tasks; we don’t have a concept of status meeting in meeting room but some colorful charts where everyday some colors change. In office people know only few colors which they put on chart with their status.

Sometimes it’s literally a task to find a human among those machines. Luckily I found one who is very much human among those machines. I can see the phone-girl from my place only, really thanks to this open-space work culture.  

I was really surprised to see how she manages to use that extension phone quite frequently. I don’t know whether she speaks words on phone, as I find her smiling all the time whenever she is holding phone. I have never seen her with any emotion when she is not using phone. She don't mingle with her team-mates, during her daily status she give status at the last, no emotions at all. She takes her lunch alone and strange thing is she prefers much crowded food-court over our own small pantry area.

I am surprised, how she creates her own carefree world where she is smiling all the time. She reminds me of the movie ‘Matrix’, where Mr. Anderson used phone- booth to enter into new world. At the same time she reminds me of some crazy creatures who all are pretty much decent now but sometimes use phone to explore that craziness… 

I wish I could invent an invisible phone for phone-girl to see her smiling face all the time.

आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो...

I got the idea of this poem from 'Splitsvilla 5' theme song from 'Agnee'. Around 3 months back Agnee invited to complete the theme song as it was having only 1 stanza. I started writing 3 months back but, yesterday was able to give some dedicated time… 

कोई गम कहीं तेरा, है मेरा दिया
शायद अनजाने में कुछ, तूने भी किया
लगता है हर किसी में, हर कोई है छुपा
तोड़ के किसी का दिल, कौन है जिया
आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो
आँसू ना हो...आँसू ना हो...

कल तक था हर लम्हा, हमने भी संग जिया  
मौसम के हर एक रंग को, एक प्याले में पिया
था सूरज संग और साथ में था चंदा
अब लगता है वो सब, सपना खुली आँखों का

आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो
हो बस मुस्कुराहटें...
मुस्कुराहटें...

तेरी हर अदा पर होती थी अठखेलियाँ
दरिया की लहेरों संग हरकत बच्कानियाँ
बारिस की बूंदों संग कुछ शैतानियाँ
और हवा के झोकों संग तारों की गिनतियाँ

आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो
हो बस मुस्कुराहटें...

कुछ अनजाने सवालों की नादानियाँ
और कुछ अधूरे जवाबों की गलतियाँ
कुछ जो नक्शों में दिखती हैं बस दूरियां
सब बन गयी अब रातों की खामोशियाँ
आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो
आँसू ना हो...

कोई गम कहीं...
आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो...
शायद अनजाने में...
आँखें तेरी हो या मेरी हो...
आँसू ना हो...आँसू ना हो...

let smile comes through your eyes...

'Vyom this is not fair,' Romi said. 'What is that 'this', which is not fair,' Vyom with his usual reaction for this kind of situations. 'ohh...youuu...I have uploaded my outing pics and still no comment from you,' Romi with her usual sweet anger.'Ohh Romi...you look beautiful even in anger,' Vyom said. 'So you mean to say I should be angry all the time,' unexpected reaction from Romi. 

'Ohh calm down please...I saw the pics...I guess only 5 or 6 pics, no doubt you are looking good', Vyom said. 'I really wanted you to see the pics and you...'Romi said halfhearted. 'Ohh Romi...do likes or comments matter,' Vyom said. 'No...but you have seen the pics, at least you should tell me' Romi replied. 'Ohh...I was waiting for more pics to be uploaded,' Vyom with his unique logic. 'You are great and above all your logics...you have all answers ready,' Romi reacted as always. 

'Ok...I am looking your album...you just wait for my comments,' Vyom said.

After watching album...'Did you plan the trip...I mean the place and all,' Vyom asked. 'Yes...why you are asking,' Romi replied. 'Romi, the picnic manager...nice location and the best pic, you posing the victory pose with children,' Vyom commented out. 'Ohh thanks,' Romi said with smile. 'You know what's the best thing in that pic...you are enjoying like a kid...you look great in random clicks,' Vyom continued with his unique way. 'Yes...that pic is really good,' Romi said.

'Romi...you know...don't try to put smile on your face, it can fall...let it comes through your eyes...I can see the smile in your eyes in this pic,' Vyom said. 'Ok,' Romi said. 'What ok...you always say ok like a kid...I am waiting for your reply,' Vyom said. 'I am still feeling alienated with your words, but it was beautiful,' Romi replied back. 'Ohh...nice joke... you feeling alienated cause you are an alien and you know that...hmm,' Vyom said. 'Youuu...', Romi smiled with covering her eyes with one hand... 

Smile...

“When you are going for lunch?” asked my colleague. “mmm...I am stuck with this, will give 1 more try,” I said. “ohh, ok ok...you know we have a meeting today,” my colleague reminded me. “Ohh...then I have to go,” I said and picked up my tiffin.

I put my Tiffin stuff in bowls and was waiting for oven, as it was having tiffin of that chubby girl. “I always think of having something from food court, but end up with my tiffin ,” girl said to her lunchmate. I think 2 minutes are enough for tiffin, but here I can see it’s more than that. “It’s done, can you please,” I asked the chubby girl. “Ohh...thanks,” she replied back. And what was that unusual thing oven got off when I put my plate inside. Yes very unusual, it was serving throughout the day even when Northern power grid was down.

“Ohh...sorry,” said the girl. Her expression was like a kid, asking for sorry after messing up the whole lunch table. I looked at her like,’ Why are you feeling sorry kid, it’s just a fluctuation’. I really wanted to do that ‘googly woogly woosh’ act with her cheeks. “It’s ok...just a fluctuation I guess...now power grid is up,” I said. She smiled back just like an innocent kid, the real smile syncing up with her eyes...  

Really real things are so rare and powerful. With that real smile pantry area was smiling again and the oven got life back.

I wish every smile I see, could have that intensity...

पुर्जा-पुर्जा शोर करता है अब...

पुर्जा-पुर्जा शोर करता है अब,

इस पुराने 2 इन 1 का

अलग ही था वो जमाना,

कैसेट पे गाने सुनना, मैच की कमेन्ट्री

और हाँ वो आवाजें रिकॉर्ड करने और सुनने का सिलसिला...

आज यूँ ही फुर्सत से पुराना बक्सा खोला

आस पास की चीजें पुरानी होनी लगती हैं,

तो जाने कहाँ से ये फुर्सत आ जाती है

2 इन 1 सोया हुआ था एक कोने में,

जाने कबसे...

कुछ ज्यादा ही जगह खा गया है,

काफी बड़ा है

नींद से उठाया तो पुर्जों का शोर

सोचता हूँ कबाड़ी को दे दूँ

बक्से में कुछ जगह बन जाएगी

सी डी प्लेयर भी सठिया गया है,

पुर्जा-पुर्जा शोर करता है अब...

वो तारों की महफ़िल...

कुछ सालों बाद एक जानी पहचानी-सी राह से गुजरा

एक बड़ी ख़ास जगह नजर आई

यूँ तो जगह छोटी ही थी,

पर वो कुछ बड़ा-सा पत्थर ख़ास था कभी मेरे लिए

चाहता तो था कुछ देर बैठूं उस पर

पर एक प्यारा-सा जोड़ा बैठा था

जो शायद काफी था उस पत्थर के लिए, और हाँ मेरी यादों के लिए भी

वो दोनों तारों की महफ़िल ही निहार रहे थे

इस महफ़िल के तारों को तो मैं भी जानता हूँ

कुछ को तो नाम भी दिए थे मैंने, अब याद नहीं

बस इतना याद है, एक मीठा-सा झगडा हुआ था नाम को लेके किसी के संग,

और लगभग रोज ही ताकते थे इन तारों को हम

शायद इस आस में कि गर कोई टूटे तो कुछ मांग ही लें...

सचमुच कितने अजीब होते हैं ये तारे भी,

दूर बहुत हैं

रोशनी तो हमे दे नहीं पाते,

बस दे जाते है टूटने पर कुछ को उनकी ख्वाहिशें

मैंने तो बस तुम्हारी ख़ुशी ही मांगी थी,

शायद मिली भी होगी तुम्हे

अपने लिए कमबख्त कभी कुछ मांग ना सका...

इस महफ़िल के तारों का तो पता नहीं,

पर हाँ,

जरूर टूट गया था वो प्यारी सी मुलाकात का सिलसिला

और तुम भी कुछ नए तारों की महफ़िल तले चली गयी दूर कहीं...

तारों का टूटना तो अब भी देख लेता हूँ कभी-कभार

बस थोड़ा मुस्कुरा लेता हूँ और अब रखता नहीं मैं इनसे कुछ आस

क्यूंकि अब शायद कोई वजह नहीं रही कि तारों का टूटना लगे कुछ ख़ास...

P.S. : I am not a hard core lover...character में डूब के लिखा है :)