The silent lover...

1 ticket please...how much...10 Rs...

“Brother why you are standing, you can sit here,” said conductor. I sat on the seat besides the conductor. “Brother see this, so called love,” conductor said while pointing out to a college going couple walking besides the bus, holding each other’s hand. “hmm, nice,” I said. “Nice...is it nice...first of all do you think its love?” conductor said with exclamatory marks on his face. I was surprised why he had issue with that couple.  “What’s wrong in that and who we are to complain whether it’s love or not?” I said. “Brother we are running on this route since last year, every day I see so many love stories like this,” conductor said. Conductor aged between 22 -25 and that was surely his first route after this job. I was smiling on his reaction. “Brother now you are smiling...you don’t believe me, I even remember faces of all my daily passengers...specially girls,” conductor said with smile.

“Yes brother, I know you remember faces of your daily passengers,” I smiled as well. “Yes, I am telling you, I have seen many girls...they change their boyfriends like anything and these dumb boys...what can I say...they will pay bus tickets, will give them seats...will call them for hours,” conductor said.” Hmm...so what is love then, you tell me,” I said. “Ohh brother, you are making fun out of me...you don’t look dumb like them...you know everything,” conductor said. “No, seriously I don’t know...I don’t travel like you...I sit in office for hours and relax in weekends,” I said.

“Ok...if you are insisting,"Conductor said. 
I was in college; I used to be stud in my friend circle. I used to bunk classes, lots of fun and all. There was a girl, Pooja...there was something special in Pooja. I don’t know what that special thing was, but I tried to be very decent in front of her. I was not so frequent in lectures but if she was there, I would be in lecture for sure. I was not in good company in college time; my so called friends spoiled my graduation days. We did so many bad things, now I regret for that. So many times even I wanted to attend lectures, but my friends...what can I say...I cannot blame others.

“Hmm...so did you ever say that you love her,” I said.

“No,” there was a pause for some seconds. People were standing in front of him for tickets, but he was somewhere in the past. 

“You never said her, that you love her...and now you are telling me that you are very smart...you know everything...what is love...you...you are stupid...now you are left only with this story,” I reacted like he is my college buddy. “Did she know that you love her,” I said...

She met me around 3 months back during my lunch break. I was smoking cigarette and I saw her walking down the road. I threw my cigarette and ran... 

“are tu yahan kya ker reha hai...in kapdon me,” Pooja said. 
“DTC me conductor hun...sarkari...wardi hai ye meri,” conductor said.
“aur kaisa hai...tera to kuch pata hi nahin...college aana to tune chor hi diya tha...tu to exam me bhi nahin dikha,” Pooja said.
“Achha...bada dekhti thi tu mujhe, ” conductor said.
“haan tune to kabhi kuch bola hi nahin...tu to apne yaaron me hi khush tha,” Pooja said.
Aur Jaipur me sab badiya,” conductor said.
Meanwhile driver had started bus and calling him. “Achha chalta hun yaar abhi, ustad g bulare hain,” conductor said. Are sun to...

“Why didn't  you say her,” I said.

“I came to know that she is getting married to an engineer, I thought she will be happy with him,” conductor said. “I always wanted to say her but...don’t know...it’s good... she is happy,” conductor said. 

“Brother you...you know everything,” I said.
“Oh brother, now you are making fun out of me,” conductor said.
“Ok brother...see you next time,” I said.

He was smiling and his smile was telling, may be he doesn't know everything, but he knows something which everyone doesn't know...

P.S. It was around 2 years back in Delhi. Conversation between lovers is in Hindi to keep it simple.

The reflections...

I took a bus from E-CITY to silk board. The usual silence was inside the bus which accompanied by novels, newspapers, phones, headphones and lots of thoughts inside young minds, even conductor was very silent as most of the commuters knew fair and stops.

Around after 2 km a married couple boarded into bus...They broke the silence inside bus with their smiles. The husband was wearing a T-shirt and properly ironed trouser with sports shoes. His hairs were properly combed with oil and he was supporting moustache. The wife was wearing Sari and in the name of makeup was supporting only a bindi. This couple was looking quite odd inside that bus full with all the young IT mass. They were odd in other sense as well, as they were the only smiling faces inside the bus. The intensity of their bonding gave me a reason to smile inside that bus.

After some minutes, at red light there was one spacious car in queue. It was a cute family of 3 inside that car. Both husband and wife were looking in opposite directions from their goggles and the child was sitting on the back seat. The only reason of why I called this a cute family, the child was trying to change music with remote. He was trying to break the silence inside the car by changing music. Suddenly he switched off the music and said something. I don’t know if he cracked joke or something but he was the sole reason of smiles inside that car. The intensity of the bonding of that cute family gave me another reason to smile... Even light was smiling now with green face... 

P.S. This was around 3 years back in Bangalore.

2 ही थीं वो लटें...

2 ही थीं वो लटें, जो गिरती थी तुम्हारे गाल पे

चश्मे के साथ उलझी रहती थीं दिन भर

वो गिरती और मैं फिरसे उलझा देता उन्हें कान में...

सच में, काफी कुछ बदल गया पिछले कुछ सालों में

अब मैं सुलझा रहा हूँ अपनी कुछ उलझनों को,

और सुना है आँखों की सर्जरी के बाद तुम्हारा हेयर स्टाइल भी कोई लेटेस्ट सा है...

मैं धुन खोजता रहा...

मैं धुन खोजता रहा अपने शब्दों के लिए

शोर कुछ ज्यादा ही था ज़माने का,

वो कुछ अच्छी वाली धुनें मिली ही नहीं

मैं गया शोर से दूर, काफी दूर...

सन्नाटे की धुन काफी अच्छी थी

मैं बैठा कुछ देर और मुस्कुराया,

मुस्कराहट संग एक खयाल आया...

खयाल था,

केवल धुन ही काफी होती है कभी-कभी

और कभी-कभी केवल शब्द...

अधूरी कविता...

कुछ लम्हों को पिरोके एक कविता शुरू की थी

कभी-कभी कलम खराब हुई और वक़्त की स्याही ने कुछ निशान छोड़ दिए

पिछले कुछ दिनों सन्नाटा ऐसा बरसा,

पंक्तियाँ कविता की सारी मिट गयी

और निशान स्याही के फ़ैल गए कुछ ज्यादा ही...

अधूरी कवितायेँ मैं याद नहीं रखता

और आदत भी बुरी, सम्हाल के नहीं रखता

अफ़सोस है कविता के खो जाने का

अब लम्हों को फिरसे पिरोने की फुर्सत नहीं...

LOVE aaj kal...

Last year I got a chance to visit my father’s uncle place with my sister. Grandpa is around 60 or plus. It was first time I met grandpa. After having tea and snacks, I came to know that granny was having some strange kind of disease. Strange as the way they described sometimes she used to get paralyze attack. When grandpa came to know my sis is from medical science background, he brought some papers which were describing that illness. He said even Doctors were not able to diagnose the illness initially and then he spent time on internet to get some information of that illness. The papers which grandpa was showing are the ones which he found on the internet.

I was surprised to know that grandpa’s internet search gave the right approach to doctor’s analysis in diagnosing that illness. I was not surprised on the ability of doctors, as I know some other cases where doctors from the premier hospitals were not able to diagnose illness.

Grandpa was showing the figures on those papers to my sis and they both were discussing. I was again surprised to see the knowledge and curiosity of grandpa which he was sharing with my sis. I was sitting there and lots of thoughts were coming into my mind and tempting my curiosity. We all know internet is full of useful information, but we always require a proper search string to get desired information. My curiosity was asking question, “What was that driving force behind that internet search?”

We are living in this age of internet where we are connected through Smartphone apps to our loved ones and in our spare time in office we browse news sites, social networking sites or latest fashion sites for online shopping and here is a person who don’t use internet much, but his internet search gave a direction to our qualified doctors to diagnose the illness.

I personally think there are some things in this world which remain same with the time, but we just change their meanings. May be just because of that change I was getting surprised at that simple thing called ‘love’...

 

Dates are meant for Calendar only...

‘So how was your V-day,’Ram said. ‘Dates are meant for Calendar only,’I said while adjusting my chair. ‘You have all answers ready or just excuse,’Ram said with smile. ‘Some years back this date used to be special for you, when you were in college,’Ram continued. ‘Yes...you won’t believe I never went to college on V-day,’I said. ‘What...you mean to say in all four years?’Ram said. ‘Yes in all four years...In first year we started towards college but went to pool club on our midway and ended up watching ‘Black’, Bollywood movie, nice movie. In second year we woke up late as usual, played games on system and boozed as usual. In third year had a good amount of Vitamin D with tea, momos and noodles and the best thing bought 1 very good blazer on V-day offer sale. In fourth year, we played cards, had noodles with ginger tea and yes in evening I went for haircut. Haircut was special as it was after 1 year or something,’I took a pause.

‘So you enjoyed with your girlfriends or?’Ram said. ‘Ohhh no no... this we is not that, what you are thinking,’we’ friends,’I said.

‘You are making fun out of yourself, you can write a book,’Ram said.

‘One more thing I forgot to mention, when we went for movie in first year, girls with their boyfriends were looking at us...it was awesome,’I smiled.

Hahahaha...when are you writing a book...

Love is...

Sometimes some people treat love as an alien thing. We can’t learn this just by reading a romantic novel or watching ‘if only’. It has to be experienced. People read or watch something and manipulate things as they are critics. Why to believe on those things. We can’t explain love in words, movie or novel is just the individual’s journey which gives us joy.  Love is not out there in any street, it’s here inside us sleeping because we want to dream of things, which we only create to make our life more and more comfortable; but end up with more and more complexities. One can’t experience love if he does not love himself... 

Love is when I ping you good morning and wait till afternoon just to get a reply
Love is when you ping me hi and the very next second it follows with your bye
Love is when you make so many excuses just to show me how hectic is your life

Love is when I switch off all my logics to see those stupidities with ultimate joy
Love is when you irritate me with your talks just to give me so many reasons for smile
Love is when I call you with those alien names and you forget the real one for a while

Love is when others see me tough but you read gentleness in my eyes
Love is when you try to lock your smile within lips and I read your twinkling eyes
Love is when I do those childish things just to prove how stylish am I
Love is when I smile sometimes and even I don’t know the reason why
Love is when you tease me and really, I feel little shy

Love is when I type random thoughts to write a poem which no one will ever enjoy

Love is... 

P.S. I Love you...

Just photograph? No, it's time machine...

Someone said, it’s not good to think of past, one should live in present, like kids do...

Kids craft their own world out of nothing. Sometimes they try to catch air like they are in garden full of colourful butterflies; they swing in air like they are the best dancers; they sing like a rockstar. Really past and future are only grammar things for them. They live every single moment in present...

Thank god we have camera to capture those moments in photograph. Clicking a photograph is not a simple task; one has to freeze those perfect moments so those moments can live forever inside photograph.

When kids grow up, so many complexities come in so many forms. They realize that future is not just a tense, it’s something which they can’t see but their all efforts will have to be for future only. Again I am thankful to God, now a day’s technology is giving us a view of future and we have some artistic imaginary images of future...

Literally I have to say sometimes these photographs do time machine’s job. I am not talking about movies, but those flashbacks are really awesome. What else we can wish from a time machine, just to travel in our best time. These photographs do the same. I still wonder how my father was so fascinated about clicking pics, somewhere he also knew that those colourful moments will never come again, so why not to capture in photograph. I wonder how we used to be so mad for that phone cam in college days. We used to try so many poses and I was the declared mad by ‘a group of crazy creatures’, my friends. Sometimes they used to say I have to pay them for click.

Soon our all (not so) hard efforts started giving us fruits and complexities came in form of different cities. I earned some money and bought a cam far better than that phone cam. But very soon I realized it’s not the megapixel or price of cam, it’s the moments which matters for a good photograph. I did some attempts to recreate those moments, but somewhere those crazy creatures and stupidity were always missing. Now I am ready to pay those mad guys, but they don’t have time to click me.

Again as usual complexities came in a different form with fake smiles and I had to pretend that I am also happy like everyone. I stopped pretending, so I stopped laughing as well. Now I just smile for the sake of laugh...

I have some photographs, which sometimes seem old and faded comparatively to my latest photographs. But only I know the beauty of those photographs. Those photographs are not only image files, they have power of flashbacks and believe me I use to travel in past where I am chasing colourful butterflies and singing like a rockstar...